When a Man Introduces the Other Woman
You see them or read about it in the tabloids every week — a famous actor, athlete, or singer is caught cheating on their significant other with a model, actress or sometimes even another celebrity. While these high-profile men are often vilified for their behaviour, when an everyday man does it he’s almost always excused and his partner is blamed. I mean, look at Menzi and Siza.
The media is currently in a frenzy over the story of many celebrities and their infidelities. It seems like everyone has an opinion about their actions and the actions of their wives. While I am not interested in getting into the debate of whether or not men are jerks, I want to focus on the role of the other woman in this situation.
Let’s look at Menzi and Siza.
A woman’s mind goes through many things when a man introduces her to the Other Woman. Sometimes, she feels despair and bitterness towards the other woman just because of the way this man treats her. Other times, she simply takes it in stride and acts as if nothing is wrong. However, most women will experience one or some combination of these emotions: trust issues, jealousy towards the other woman that are often justified due to abuse or unethical behaviour by the man in question or others who may support him, a desire for revenge on behalf of both women involved in an affair, feeling neglected by men who want to invest their time into multiple relationships at once instead of investing in her and challenging her addiction to love with a good partner — to name just a few.
For a man who has been caught in an affair, this can be a stressful time for him as well. He may feel guilt for the pain that he has caused his partner and the desire to repair that relationship with her, but the appearance of another love interest often keeps him from doing so. He may have already emailed his partner that was meant to hurt her feelings or push her away from him completely, only to later get involved with someone else who is now trying to convince him not to go through with it. That other woman might try to fill the void in his life by promising many things.
When I had intimate conversations with different women, one of them said: This is not to say that a man should not have an affair, but he must do so with full awareness of the consequences of his actions. The relationship between him and his partner may be more difficult to repair than he thinks if there are children involved. If both women are willing to forgive him and continue as if nothing has happened, then he can still work through the issues with his partner if she will let him. If the other woman truly helps him get through this time in his life, it would probably be best for everyone involved for her to maintain a friendship with him and avoid trying to lead him on.
Another woman said: Getting involved with the Other Woman can be good for the man who has had an affair, but he must remain honest about his feelings to all of them. A good man should not allow himself to be manipulated into showing affection or interest in another woman by a woman who was already involved with him when he decided to have an affair. He should also not accept gifts from her or allow her to become financially dependent on him. This is poor ethics and will only increase the chances of him being trapped in this situation, or getting into one like it again. For a man who wants to have a long-term relationship with multiple women, perhaps marriage is the best option for him.
This is my take: If you’re looking for love and want to avoid being hurt, remember: not all men are the same, but many types of men are. The average type doesn’t cheat on his wife with a woman he met online. He doesn’t lead a double life for years. And if he dates another woman, he rarely introduces her to his friends or family — in fact, it’s very unlikely that you’ll ever meet her. So if the man you date does any of these things, there is a good chance that he really doesn’t love you and never will. You come across such words: What your boyfriend and I have is special; it just took some time for us to realize it. We both made mistakes along the way, but we learned from them so they wouldn’t repeat themselves in our relationship. And therefore he should have never told me about you. Because why would I stay with a man who’s not loyal to me when I can find one who is?
So in my opinion: A man who introduces the “other woman” in his relationship is a desperate man indeed. He will convince himself time and time again that there are justifiable reasons for doing so, but deep down, he knows that there is only one reason he introduced the other woman — he wants to be able to get away with cheating on you without hurting you.
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